One day I was on this job, I started cleaning the windows at 5am before there was even sunlight, I could feel the Arizona heat penetrating every part of my body. When I was finished with the outside I began working on the inside of this commercial building. I took great pride in my work especially during monsoon season when the windows were extra dirty, it was exciting to me to clean a window that was so dirty. I was 11 years in to cleaning windows and it was just as satisfying then as it was now, I truly love cleaning a good old dirty window, I thought. As I cleaned the interior of the windows at this building. I realized alot of the windows had to be pulled out and cleaned from the outside. This would create more work and honestly I was already about 5 hours in to that job. I was becoming physically exhausted. I pulled out all the windows and then stopped to hydrate. As I stood there the head manager of that building approached me and began discussing the details of that contract. While talking to her we noticed a group of contractors outside congregating at one area near the windows that were cleaned and pulled out. One by one they began putting there shirts on the hanging pulled glass, some were even touching the glass as they moved along side the building. We stood for a moment in silence both noticing the same thing. My stomach dropped as I saw them begin working on their project near the windows I worked tirelessly on earlier that day. The manager thanked me for cleaning those windows and began to try to avert my attention to windows in a different area that were clean and beautifully done but I could not see past the utter disregard and disrespect I began to feel over the windows that were being smudged by the contractors careless regard for my work. I laughed it off while swallowing my frustration and discomfort of this. How could they be so disrespectful? They saw me earlier today sweating profusely as I cleaned those windows! I was taking this so personally, I felt so insignificant, so invalidated and useless. What was the point? I thought. What jerks!

I continued cleaning the windows, reflecting on the pride I took on cleaning the windows, reflecting on all the jobs, all the windows all the adventures I had experienced to date. I reflected on my reaction and especially on the very thought of “what the hell was the point of cleaning windows if they were going to be dirty a minute later?” Little did I know, this very thought was going to shift my entire perception of my life and those around me. Let me explain.

Everyday we are consumed with approximately 50,000 thoughts on average. Our brain works on overload giving us solutions and awareness to everything we do, everything we see and experience daily. Yet the most common inquiry I have received as a spiritual counselor is clarity. Every person on the planet is either in a state of acceptance of the lack of clarity or is actively searching some sort of clarity for their careers, relationships, purpose or problems. I could even venture out to say that every person on the planet craves different versions of clarity at some point in their lives. As a window washer, I have spent years providing physical clarity in homes and commercial buildings, yet this was on version of clarity. Those contractors that were smudging the windows I cleaned earlier that day, were providing clarity in a different way, they were installing security cameras to that building in the blind spots. And while I could sit there and find every single reason to take the smudging personal and throw in the towel, how could I be upset with someone providing a form of clarity to people. After all, it was just a couple of smudges on a windows that were bound to get dirty again anyway. I deeply reflected on this fact, on the fact that we are all seeking clarity and some of us have the privilege to provide this clarity to others in various forms.

How do you find peace with not having all the clarity? That is a question I feel few people understand. I thought about all the people in my life. Those who were in some form of acceptance of the lack of clarity and those who had given up. The lack of clarity almost always seemed to block people from movement forward. Yet to me it was so simple, one window at a time, one day at a time I could provide physical clarity to people. I thought about different areas of my life and how much clarity I was desperately seeking in love, in my identity and in my purpose. But how no matter how much I pushed that clarity was not more clearer. What was clear to me was how simple window washing was, cleaning one window at time at the pace I was comfortable with brought me true peace almost in a state of serenity. It didn’t matter how much work I had left, I just cared for that one window at a time. This is similar to our lives. Whether we are seeking clarity on a life altering choice or something deep with in our souls, there is a need to be in a state of radical acceptance, not just plain acceptance but …radical…acceptance. Radical acceptance means that you accept the “current” reality or situation you are in but that it absolutely can be changed and shifted. This means that in moments when you are lacking all clarity of a situation or you are faced with very different life altering decisions there is an absolute need to radically accept that you do not fully know the outcome or all the details of that situation, maybe its that your awaiting clarity of a person who is going to greatly impact that decision or maybe its that you just cannot be sure of how it will turn out in the future as most things are just simply not in our control. At the same time of all of this, there is a need to just be in the moment. Focus wholeheartedly on the task at hand. One step at a time, trusting and knowing that you will know what you need to know in time. Knowing you will be okay no matter what. Most of all, let it flow. Like the wind breeze around you, just let things be without expectation of the outcome. This is hard for many people to do, I know because if it was easy then we wouldn’t have a mental health crisis around the world. We wouldn’t have the violence that is so common today.

Here are the three keys to clarity in your life: 1… Radical acceptance meaning I accept totally the way things currently are, I know I do not fully know all that I wish to know but I know that it will change, shift and transform. 2…. Live in the moment meaning I absolutely wholeheartedly am choosing to focus on the task at hand, I will give my attention and focus to what is right in front of me right now and what is in my control. 3…. Let it flow meaning that I will not hold space for any specific outcome but rather without expectation allow things to flow how they will flow trusting myself and understanding that no matter the outcome I will be okay.

These three keys to clarity are so vital because we will always be seeking more clarity. I think about my past experiences at times and how I wanted so much clarity on a relationship or job situation and how I stressed for days, weeks months or even years over seeking more and more clarity. When I would get clarity on one part of situation well there was almost always another situation I lacked clarity in. It would drive me insane. But applying these three simple keys in my life brought me into a state of serenity, a sense of hope and even excitement. So whether you are seeking clarity in a situation as you read this or you are in a sense of peace over the lack of clarity always remember that you hold the keys to clarity and that you will never be able to know all the different perspectives to a situation. Trust that you will discover the truths when it is time and that you will be okay. When that lack of clarity becomes overwhelming step back for a moment, take 5 minutes of deep breathing. Focus on your air flow, on your chest expanding. You can do this, you will not die from lack of clarity, this is only a moment in time. You will receive more clarity within time.